


Come Come Kitty Kitty, You're So Pretty Pretty

by Soap_Lady



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Amelie is a troll, Crack, Felix is a gremlin, Kitten jokes, one-sided felinette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:55:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26843230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soap_Lady/pseuds/Soap_Lady
Summary: Felix comes to Paris and quickly becomes bored. He decides to select Marinette Dupain-Cheng to be the one to entertain him by treating her like a kitten. It goes over as well as you think.
Comments: 59
Kudos: 216





	Come Come Kitty Kitty, You're So Pretty Pretty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Industrial_Lace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Industrial_Lace/gifts).



Despite what her superhero partner might believe, Marinette  _ did _ have a sense of humor about herself. She could even laugh at her own faults and foibles. She didn’t mind when the Girl Squad teased her about them because their jokes at her expense were never mean spirited.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t expecting that the return of Felix Graham de Vanily would test her limits.

Adrien’s gremlin twin was back in Paris, supposedly to help his mother during a movie production. In reality he was dividing his time between being a production assistant and a professional troll.

Only two people were glad to see his return. One was Adrien, who was starving for affection and family love, known for being able to overlook bad behavior. The other was Lila, who viewed Felix as either a meal ticket, a kindred spirit, or a co-conspirator. Perhaps all three.

As expected the rest of the class couldn’t stand him and would cheerfully ship him back to London given the chance. Adrien tried to convince them to be nice to his cousin. They promised to be civil. He courteously ignored them for the most part unless he had no choice.

The one exception was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

The class representative didn’t have the luxury of ignoring a fellow student and Bustier depended on... _ forced _ her to keep the peace by soothing the ruffled feathers gleefully caused by Felix. She kept the class as happy as possible and even managed to prevent an akuma or two. Much to Felix’s surprise and LIla’s consternation.

Felix prided himself on being observant and able to analyze anyone. Everyone had a hidden weakness waiting to be exploited. Marinette’s were out in the open; her clumsiness, awkwardness and levels of anxiety that would crush another person.

She also refused to let him bait her. He tried needling her about her feelings for his cousin, right in front of said boy. Adrien spoke up for her, saying, “Marinette loves all her friends equally. Why should I be any different?” to oohs and aahs from the class. He bragged about his connections and unlike Rossi, had pictures to prove it. The class grimaced, Lila fumed, but all Marinette would say was, “how nice for you, Felix,” and smile.

It made him want to tease her more. She was a cute little thing and he was sure she was even more attractive when angry or frustrated. Or perhaps he meant more amusing.

One rainy Parisian afternoon Marinette herself handed him the perfect opportunity. 

He had been hurrying home because he’d forgotten his umbrella. His Burberry coat kept him mostly dry but his hair was soaked and plastered to his head. He was vaguely aware of his shoulder smacking into someone but he didn’t feel like stopping to apologize.

He heard something clatter to the ground and then, “Ow! Wait, a minute, you dropped something! Wait! Felix!”

At the sound of his name he risked a glance behind him. Tiny little Marinette was now following him. He smirked and hurried on as if he hadn’t heard her. Predictably she followed.

“Felix! You dropped this! Wait! Just stop for a minute so I can give it to you and go!”

He sped up, wondering how long she could keep up with him.

Several blocks later she was still behind him, barely out of breath. Her endurance and stamina was surprising but he had an advantage over her.

She was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Her foot slipped and she went flying, picking up an impressive amount of speed until she came to a rolling stop near Felix’s feet.

_ Well, she’s fallen for me at last,  _ he thought and dismissed the horrid pun from his mind. He’d been spending far too much time around his idiot cousin.

The noirette looked up at him, huge bluebell eyes blinking up at him. She was completely soaked to the skin. The cute pink sundress and grey leggings she’d been wearing were slightly torn and no doubt ruined. Then there was the look on her face.

Surprise faded into annoyance with shades of...was that anger? Anger on Marinette’s sweet little face?

It was! Delightful.

Her eyes were alight with blue flames as she glared, outright glared up at him. Her full lips thinned and her tiny fists clenched as she looked up at him as if she could cheerfully strangle him and throw him in the Seine.

His primal instinct was to flinch but most of him was oddly charmed. Even her anger was adorable, not that he wished to admit it.

“Aw, how cute,” he cooed as he lifted her into his arms. “A lost kitten! I’m going to take you home with me, little kitten and ask my mummy if you can live with us!”

“What?!” the girl squeaked but the blond boy was already hurrying home.

*****

There were many negative things people might say about Amelie Graham de Vanily’s parenting style. Oh, sure, she was too permissive, she tried to be his friend/cohort over being his mother, she raised him to be a con artist. However no one could deny she was loving and supportive, calm whenever he needed her. Despite all the pranks he pulled over the years she prided herself on being unflappable.

She was not expecting him to bring home a girl, at least not one sodden and trembling, who looked equal parts confused and furious.

Felix held out the wet, grumpy girl for his mother’s inspection. “She followed me home, can I keep her?” he asked cheekily. 

The poor dear’s face went from confused anger to horrified embarrassment. She wiggled in Felix’s arms and began to protest.  “ You dropped your wallet! I was trying to return it! Why did you act like you couldn’t hear me? I dropped my umbrella because of you .”

The girl really was adorable and Amelie noticed the looks her son gave her was almost fond when he thought no one was looking. Felix had finally noticed a girl without considering her a mark! How wonderful!

Catching her son’s gaze Amelie gave her son a wink and decided to play along with whatever her son was plotting.

“Oh, the poor thing!” Amelie could sympathize with the confused girl. She clearly wasn’t familiar with the Graham de Vanily style of humor and affection. She would learn. 

Pleased to see her son having a bit of fun since coming to Paris she rang for a maid to fetch some towels. Humor was one thing, being a poor hostess quite another. It wouldn’t do for her son’s little friend to catch cold. “Does she have a name?”

Felix looked the girl in his arms over. She fit rather nicely in his embrace and he was reluctant to let her down just yet. He was glad her sense of propriety in front of his mother prevented her from punching or kicking him in the face. He decided he wanted to find out how much further he could go. 

“I didn’t see a collar so I guess she’s just a poor stray kitten.” He gave his classmate a look of mocking affection. “I think I’ll name her ‘Duchess’ ”.

Oh, that did it. Marinette began to struggle in earnest and he almost dropped her. “You  _ know _ what my name is!” she admonished. She tried to appeal to Amelie, hoping the mother was more sane than the son. “Please, tell your son the joke’s over and I need to get home?”

Bluebell eyes pleaded with her and Amelie sympathized with her embarrassment but was having too much fun. She decided to play along with Felix’s shenanigans.

“Now, darling, you can’t just bring home strays,” she playfully scolded her only child. “We need to get her vaccinated. Then of course she’ll needs lots of love and attention-”

Marinette finally managed to slide out of Felix’s unprotesting arms. “I’ll see myself out,” she mumbled. She had thought Felix and his mother were merely eccentric but now she wanted to get away from them before she was forced to wear cat ears and eat from a bowl on the floor. She was close to the door. Perhaps she could make a run for it…

Amelie continued on as if the girl hadn’t spoken. “And feed her and brush her and play with her…”

Felix looked up and down the girl’s bedraggled frame. Her outfit was a loss but it clung to her body rather fetchingly. She wasn’t as curvy as her ombre haired friend but her proportions were excellent for her height. “And bathe her?” he leered.

The noirette squawked unattractively because that was the last straw. She had to deal with Felix’s antics at school but she wasn’t going to humor him on her own time, especially when she was trying to do him a favor. And why was his mother encouraging him? Shouldn’t a parent set boundaries?

“That’s it! I’m leaving!” she had to get out of there before her own sanity was threatened. 

She grabbed a few towels from the startled maid and wrapped them around herself to form a terry cloth toga. “Thank you very much!” She threw the wallet at Felix’s chest and squelched out the door.

Mother and son waited until the door was closed and the maid had retreated to look at each other and laugh.

Something about the girl seemed vaguely familiar. She remembered her son mentioning one of his classmates and showing her a picture. “That was Marinette, wasn’t it? Marinette Dupain-Cheng? She’s just as lovely as you said she was.” Amelie chewed on her bottom lip. “And she wants to be a designer, you said? I believe you mentioned she looks up to Gabriel.” Her expression morphed to genuine sympathy. “Poor thing.”

Felix smiled. He was sure his new little kitten could find a much better mentor. His mother was a business prodigy and the head of the Wardrobe Department at Graham Films was always looking for talented summer interns. Valuable experience for an up and comer in the fashion industry.

“All the more reason to keep her.” The boy smiled as he remembered how angry he’d made his usually calm, serene classmate. He wondered what he would have to do to make her come at him, biting and scratching…

_ Marinette. What an amusing, adorable little pet you’ll make. _

*****

Two days after Marinette’s attempt at a good deed went horribly horribly wrong, Felix strode right up to her before the bell rang.

For the first time in weeks there had been no akuma two days in a row and the usually tardy girl had been able to finish a few commissions and go to sleep on time. Now she regretted arriving early to class because it gave that blond gremlin extra time to pester her. She strained to maintain her neutral expression. Even Lila hadn’t been too annoying lately. Felix had decided to pick up her slack.

“There’s my kitty!”

At his desk Adrien heard the word kitty and panicked. Did his cousin know his secret? Would he tell the class? His father would kill him if his secret got out for endangering his life and therefore the brand. “Kitty?” he babbled. “Where?!”

Felix walked right past his cousin and handed the surprised pigtailed girl a box. It was light blue and decorated with a fancy script from some boutique. Most of her female classmates cooed at her surprise. Chloe did her nails. Lila silently fumed as one of the boys she hoped to ensnare was lavishing attention on the wrong girl.

“I had this made for you, my dear,” Felix grinned fondly down at his cute little target. She was fighting so hard not to get angry at him, at least not in front of their class. She actually cared what the chattel thought of her. Charming.

Marinette held the box with all the tentative care one would afford a particularly thorny cactus or a cobra. “If this is your way of apologizing…” she warned the boy.

It was probably a bribe, an expensive bribe to make him forgive her and look good in public, like Lila. If she refused it he could make her appear hard-hearted and ungrateful. Well, she’d accept it, give him a kind, if empty smile, and then throw it in a drawer once she got home.

“Open it!” Rose urged. Although she was a firm Adrienette supporter, if Felinette made her friend happy, she was all for it. Perhaps love with someone as kind as Marinette would change the aggravating boy for the better.

The other girls echoed Rose’s sentiment and Marinette realized she couldn’t just put it in her backpack for now. She opened the box, expecting some stupidly expensive jewelry she’d never wear.

In a way, she was right.

Nestled on a bed of fine cotton was a pink diamond-encrusted necklace. Well, they could have been rhinestones or Swarovski crystals for all she knew. 

Her friends crowded around her, all but Alya, who was running late to stare at her “gift”. It was a bit too flashy for her taste and unlike a simple string necklace she could hide under her shirt it was a wide choker style. Marinette opened her mouth to give him a blatantly insincere thank you but paused. There was a heart-shaped locket attached to the necklace with the word “Duchess” engraved on it. The locket also had a little bell.

This was a collar.

This was a collar meant for humans. Felix had given it to her to show her he considered her his pet. In front of everyone! She had tried to return his wallet, a good deed, and rewarded her with public humiliation in front of nearly the entire class!

Marinette looked up into his face. His smile widened as he saw dismay and hurt bloom on her face. “I had to guess your size,” he told her modestly.

She wouldn’t cry in front of him but she didn’t have to stand here and take his crud. She threw the box back in his face, hitting him squarely on the nose. The poor noirette ran out of the classroom and saw Alya walking with Nino. She latched onto her best friend’s side and allowed herself to sob. “Alyaaaa! Felix is bullying me again!”

The Girl Squad glared at him but he didn’t seem to notice as he pulled out his phone and sat next to his cousin.

“Yes, I want to order a princess canopied pet bed. Can you make one large enough for say...a great dane or a mastiff? Great.  _ Oh.. _ .and with silk bedding. Thanks.”

Satisfied, he put his phone away and pulled out his things for class. Marinette’s reaction to his gift was everything he could have hoped for, minus the sore nose.

Adrien looked over at his satisfied cousin and shook his head. Felix clearly had a crush on his good friend Marinette and while he applauded his cousin’s good taste, his tactics were awful. Teasing girls one liked went out of fashion when his father was in _ ecole maternelle _ and just came across as cruel and unfeeling.

_ Some people are just oblivious when it comes to talking to girls and romance. _

*****

Meanwhile Hawk Moth stood in his lair, poised to send yet another akuma to Francois Dupont. There were strong negative emotions swirling around his son’s class, perfect fodder for…

Then he read the emotions closely.

He frowned and closed his window as the butterflies fluttered around him, disturbed by what he sensed.

_ Too weird. Even for me. _

*****

A week later and the weather was nice enough for everyone to have lunch outside and Bustier’s students chatted among themselves as they ate. Felix was adeptly fending off yet another unwanted advance from Lila Rossi when Marinette marched up to him. And he did mean march. Her steps were strident and her gaze was determined and unflinching.

Felix was reminded of a painting he’d once seen of Queen Boudicca and found himself enchanted. Lila huffed and turned her back. Felix smiled and waved.

“My dear Marinette. Hello-”

The girl ignored him, digging into her backpack and pulling out a satin gift bag. The smile she gave him was bright and sharp. “I finally discovered a way to thank you for your oh-so-thoughtful gift.” She told him.

“The gift you never accepted-” he began but he wasn’t sure he was listening. The cute little pet bed he’d bought was going to waste. She didn’t even like the picture he’d posted on Instagram. For some reason his little kitten was holding a grudge. Perhaps it was the “Lost Kitten” poster he’d posted in the cafeteria. He thought the cat filter he’d used for her picture was flattering.

With a speed he wouldn’t have thought she had she pulled something from the bag and had it around his neck before he could blink twice.

She pulled out a black leash and snapped on to the ring attached to the collar. “What do you know? It fits!”

Felix couldn’t do more than stare at her as new information wound its way into his head. The girl had bought him a dog collar and a matching leash. He reached up and felt it. The collar even had spikes. Despite his shock he felt a sliver of admiration.He wasn’t expecting her to retaliate like this. Well done.

Marinette walked away while he was still processing what she’d done and handed the other end of the leash to Lila. “Could you hold this for me, please?” She asked.

The Italian girl was taken off-guard. “Hmm?” she responded but accepted the leash automatically before she could think about what she was doing.

Marinette gave her a genuinely grateful smile. “Thank you,” she told her classmate and walked away.

Lila looked down at the leather object she was holding and gave it an experimental tug. She heard a grunt and suddenly Felix was right beside her, nearly running into her before he stopped himself. She put her hands out in an automatic defense gesture and they landed on his chest.

“Woo! Loving your new look, Felix! Congrats, Lila! I didn’t know he was your type!”

“You might want to leave your costume items at home though, dude!”

Felix and Lila looked up in abject horror as not only their class but Mendeleiev’s and D’Argencourt’s class applauded as the blond wore a spiked collar while his “master” held his leash.

And that’s how the rumor that they were the school’s kinkiest couple got started.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry.


End file.
